Wakka, wakka!

I asked Rich to cover the Olympics for 34 because I remember from my days as Publisher that it's a lot easier to get other people to write for you than write things yourself. This is what he came up with so far. I was trying to figure out what it is as it's clearly something, and the closest I can come up with is gonzo journalism. So there you go. Thanks Rich, and we all look forward to future updates.

Jeff, here is some coverage from the Olympics, hopefully it's not offensive.

Hello 34 fanboys and girls, I am reporting from Athens, Greece, where the excrement is palpable in the air.  Yesterday, the Olympics got into full swing with the opening ceremony, where athletes from around the world marched elliptically around a track to the frenetic delight of tens of thousands in the stadium and millions world-wide. 

The highlight of this ceremony was when the athlete from Micronesia emerged.  Who knew?  Another highlight was when the athlete from Laos emerged, holding his flag with grim determination, making Big Brother proud.  North and South Korea marched together, holding hands, bringing back bitter memories of Gov. James McGreevey.  Yao Ming lofted the flag of China high above his peers, looking like a big teddy bear.  The athletes from Iraq and Afghanistan drew a strong round of applause, showing the world that yes, war was a great thing, the ends (sports) justify the means (killing thousands of people, destroying a country's infrastructure, living in fear, etc.).  Despite the fact that polls have indicated the world hates the United States,  Americans were treated to cheers as well. Don't let your kids get too excited.  France, and even Swaziland, "the Switzerland of Africa," were cheered.

Greece was on display for the whole world to see and they got their message across: "We have arrived.  We almost screwed up, but we made it to the finish line intact.  Greece is a great country...for me to poop on.  Little John will make your booty go *smack*!  Yeah!  Buy Roots hats and clothes."  Let the Games begin.


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