Spoiler alert: the prince's half-blood is blue

This is the first chapter of the new Harry Potter book. It's the first book in the series not to be written in prose, I gather. Don't ask me how I got this–all I can say is it's good to be a former publisher.

[Gargamel laughs and heads off to his castle carrying a big sack over his shoulder. Azrael the cat is with him.]

Greedy Smurf: "Papa Smurf! Gargamel's stolen all of our food and I'm so hungry I could eat a house!"

Papa Smurf: "I'll make something smurfalicous!"

[Papa uses his magic to create four large containers of pasta.]

Smurfette: "What smurfy magic! Look! New Smurf pasta from Chef Boyardee!"

Papa Smurf: "It's smurfy good for you!"

Greedy Smurf: "There's even Papa Smurf's Special Sauce!"

Smurfette: "Wow! Smurfy shapes too!"

Gargamel: "Oooh! Rats! Outsmurfed again!"

All of The Smurfs: [singing] "Thank Goodness for Chef Boyardee!"

Papa Smurf: "It's smurfy good! Let's play some quidditch!"

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