Clam.

Out of all the things that should not be purchased, canned chopped clams are one of them. Don't buy them. Buy fresh clams, take them home, and put them in a big bowl of cold water. The clams will bubble a bit and generally enjoy themselves, and much of the sand that they house inside their shells will filter out to the bottom of the bowl.

So now you're got some prepped clams. Will you make a (Manhattan, natch) clam chowder, or linguini and clam sauce? It's choose your own adventure time, kiddies.

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