34

If I were doing it all over again, I'd try to land a job with the IBM piracy reporting centre . I'll do what I can by reporting on 34 any acts of piracy I notice. My apartment does overlook New York Harbor, so if some blasted pirate tries to sail off with the Statue of Liberty or something, I'll report the fuck out of it.

This is an amusing piece of meta-journalism .

I dunno, but somehow I get MTV(2) as channel 22 with a regular antenna at my new apartment. And I barely get the standard New York broadcast stations. It's almost enough to make me want to cancel the cable installation--or at least smoke crack(2).

Well, I have a Book Review section and I read a lot of books, but I never seem to actually review them. Which is keeping in my style. But I guess I can at least mention the books I read. So I just read Gun, with Ocassional Music by Jonathan Lethem. I'll probably read Fortress of Solitude by the same at some point, since the snippet in the New Yorker was good and because I guess it's the sort of book that people are reading. On that thread, I read You Shall Know Our Velocity! by David Eggers previous to Gun... , also because the snippet in the New Yorker was good, and also because it's the sort of book that people are reading (specifically Scotter, who lent it to me). They were both good . My review scale consists of good in various font styles. Next up is Arc d'X , by Steve Erickson, whom no one really likes (except for my Dad and maybe Ryan, but I think he's just being kind).

Dancing is really, really fun when you're drunk off your ass. Banana, had you told me that before I wouldn't have been so difficult all these years.

This had been bugging me for a while, and I've finally figured it out: Senator John Kerry, who was just caucusionally elected President of the Democratic Party, is Guy Smiley from Sesame Street. A quick Google confirms that 34 is the first to break this story. Thanks to everyone at our news desk.

Researchers in the United States think they have found a new state of matter - a supersolid. If their findings are correct, this state is deeply bizarre.