34

If I were doing it all over again, I'd try to land a job with the IBM piracy reporting centre . I'll do what I can by reporting on 34 any acts of piracy I notice. My apartment does overlook New York Harbor, so if some blasted pirate tries to sail off with the Statue of Liberty or something, I'll report the fuck out of it.

This is an amusing piece of meta-journalism .

I dunno, but somehow I get MTV(2) as channel 22 with a regular antenna at my new apartment. And I barely get the standard New York broadcast stations. It's almost enough to make me want to cancel the cable installation--or at least smoke crack(2).

Well, I have a Book Review section and I read a lot of books, but I never seem to actually review them. Which is keeping in my style. But I guess I can at least mention the books I read. So I just read Gun, with Ocassional Music by Jonathan Lethem. I'll probably read Fortress of Solitude by the same at some point, since the snippet in the New Yorker was good and because I guess it's the sort of book that people are reading. On that thread, I read You Shall Know Our Velocity! by David Eggers previous to Gun... , also because the snippet in the New Yorker was good, and also because it's the sort of book that people are reading (specifically Scotter, who lent it to me). They were both good . My review scale consists of good in various font styles. Next up is Arc d'X , by Steve Erickson, whom no one really likes (except for my Dad and maybe Ryan, but I think he's just being kind).

Dancing is really, really fun when you're drunk off your ass. Banana, had you told me that before I wouldn't have been so difficult all these years.

This had been bugging me for a while, and I've finally figured it out: Senator John Kerry, who was just caucusionally elected President of the Democratic Party, is Guy Smiley from Sesame Street. A quick Google confirms that 34 is the first to break this story. Thanks to everyone at our news desk.

Researchers in the United States think they have found a new state of matter - a supersolid. If their findings are correct, this state is deeply bizarre.

Please comment on your favourite and most despised nuts.

I really need to go to bed, but first, a commercial: This Friday, Joan's parents are out of town, and God wants her to throw a party. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Hey, I just do what I'm told." This is a popular show, I think.

An overheard (by me) snippet of conservation between two (older) guys in an (my) office: "Did I ever tell you I was a roadie for Warren Zevon once?" "Really? I did monitors for Todd Rundgren for 5 years." I'm glad I have a Music section.

"Answering the question may help scientists better understand the shape of the universe. Beyond that, it may have no application to everyday life."

I'm going to be moving in to a nice place in Brooklyn Heights within the next few weeks. This could only be construed as a very good thing. Walking to work should be nice.

Because I'm going to post any reference to faxing I see anywhere on the Internet, take a look at this week's What Do You Think? from the Onion . Much funnier than the faxing reference is the mollusk reference, though. Perhaps I'll post all mollusk references I find from now on as well.

Anyone who's talked to me for more than 5 minutes knows that I was named Mensch of the Month frequently at the yeshiva I went to in Dallas–so frequently that they had to disallow anyone (read: me) from winning it in consectuive months. So I was only Mench of the Month on the even months. But anyway, I'm searching the web for yeshivas at 1am and I find a link to good ol' Akiba Academy , and managed to find a school newsletter lisitng the current (well, February 2002) Mensches . Congratulations to Yaakov Feigenbaum and Jake Grief, but man, if I were still there and 7 years old, I'd have kicked all your asses.

It might just my sense of humour, but I think these comics are brilliant. They're illustrated versions of people's dreams. Maybe I'll order a print or two for my new apartment, which I'm not trying to jinx, but once everything is all signed will prove to be massively wondrous.